Escaping the Cycle of Self-Doubt: A Holistic Approach
"Lack of confidence is a lack of faith in your God-given abilities. Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding; with Christ’s help, you are more capable than you realize."
— Nia Saint-Levon x inspired by biblical principles
Often, we struggle with confidence—in ourselves, our goals, our relationships, and even in God. Why is this? What holds us back? It could stem from a traumatic event that left us doubting ourselves, or perhaps it’s the fear of failure and making the same mistakes again. We might compare ourselves to others, wrestle with our internal dialogue, or worry about what others think. There’s the pressure from those we admire or who look up to us, as well as feelings of isolation and lack of support. Fear of vulnerability can also keep us stuck, along with a sense of inadequacy due to lacking knowledge or skills.
Understanding Low Confidence
“Living with low confidence can feel like being a convict trapped behind bars, desperately searching for a way to escape the prison of our own minds.” — Nia Saint-Levon. No matter how hard we try to boost our self-esteem or tell ourselves that our confidence has returned, those negative thoughts can linger, whispering discouragement and keeping us bound to self-doubt. This metaphor captures how these feelings can limit your potential and restrict your freedom in several ways:
Mental Barriers: Just as a prison confines physical movement, self-doubt can trap your thoughts, preventing you from pursuing opportunities or taking risks.
Fear of Judgment: The worry about how others perceive you can feel like a guard watching your every move, leading to isolation and reluctance to express yourself.
Stagnation: When you lack confidence, you might avoid challenges that could help you grow. It’s like being stuck in one spot without the chance to explore new possibilities or discover what you’re truly capable of.
Negative Self-Talk: This inner critic can create a harsh environment in your mind, making it tough to feel good about yourself. It can weigh you down, much like the oppressive atmosphere of a prison.
Impact on Relationships: Just as being confined affects how you interact with others, low confidence can make it hard to connect with people. You might struggle to engage, leading to feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
So, how do we break free from this prison, Nia? (Nia Smiles) I'm so glad you asked, darling!
A Personal Journey
I know what it feels like to lack confidence, yet I also understand the strength of being self-assured. My interest in real estate began in my early twenties when I befriended someone who was a real estate investor. At that time, I was working as a junior funder/closer and customer service analysis, wiring transfers to help others secure loans for their dream homes. Later, I dive into wholesaling real estate, which ignited my passion to not only assist new buyers in becoming homeowners but also to help investors acquire properties that I could sell to them. This dual role as both a real estate wholesaler and agent offered a glimmer of hope for a new future—one where I could pursue my passion while also creating stability for myself and my family.
However, my emotional and mental state was far from ideal. I was in a draining relationship that which made me lose sight of who I was and eroded the confidence I once had. Despite my struggles, I knew I possessed potential, and passing my real estate class felt like a critical step toward reclaiming my life.
One night, after coming home from my real estate class and studying with my daughter, who was my study partner, I fell asleep. Unbeknownst to me, she recorded a video of me during the night. In the video, I said, “Beee Confident, you got this!” but my voice sounded foreign and unsettling.
When I watched the video the next morning, confusion washed over me. The voice I heard didn’t sound like mine; it was as if a not-so-genuine entity was speaking through me. I thought, “Why does my voice sound like that? Am I losing myself?” But a part of me also wondered if God was using my voice to convey hope and inspiration, nudging me to believe in myself even when I struggled to do so.
My daughter had playfully placed a cross on my forehead, trying to ward off the unpleasantness of my voice, It was unsettling to hear words of encouragement come from a voice I didn’t recognize. Can you imagine that surprise? I felt a mix of shock and discomfort wash over me. It really hit home how disconnected I was from how I saw myself compared to those encouraging words. I found myself struggling with this conflict. I was trying to make sense of my feelings of self-doubt while hearing someone cheer me on. It highlighted just how confused and uncertain I felt in that moment. I began to question my own identity and emotional state. It was a wake-up call, forcing me to confront the duality of inner struggles and outer aspirations head-on.
Looking back, I realized that experience forced me to confront the ups and downs of my journey. It became a real turning point for me. I ended up passing my class with flying colors, and that success gave my confidence a much-needed boost. It reminded me that even when things feel dark and overwhelming, there’s always a way to find that light and strength within ourselves.
So, how do we tap into that strength? I'm so glad you asked!
Finding Strength Through Faith
I find resonance in James 1:8, which says, "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways." This verse captures the struggle I've faced between inner turmoil and the desire for confidence and purpose, reflecting the duality we often experience.
Another passage that speaks to my challenges is 2 Corinthians 4:8-9: "We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair." This highlights the strength and confidence we can find in our faith and reminds me of the financial and spiritual struggles I’ve encountered while still recognizing my potential.
And then there's Philippians 4:13, which encourages me with the words, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." This reassures me that, despite my struggles, I have the strength and ability to overcome through faith.
“Believe you can and you're halfway there.”
— Theodore Roosevelt
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
— Philippians 4:13
Actionable Strategies
Ladies, we all know how challenging it can be to navigate the ups and downs of life, especially when self-doubt sneaks in. Taking a moment each day for yourself is so important—whether through prayer or biblical meditation, connecting with God, and reflecting on His blessings can bring clarity and peace. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends makes a world of difference; they remind you that you’re not alone on this journey.
When those nagging negative thoughts arise, challenge them! Flip them into affirmations that highlight your unique strengths and the gifts God has given you.
Setting small, achievable goals can boost your confidence. Every little accomplishment reinforces your ability to succeed. Don’t shy away from stepping out of your comfort zone; embracing new experiences is where real growth happens. Remember to celebrate your victories, no matter how small, as each one propels you forward on your path. Opening up in your relationships can lead to deeper connections that truly nourish your soul.
To escape the cycle of low confidence and its negative effects, it's essential to adopt a holistic approach that nurtures spiritual, mental, and emotional well-being. Here are some strategies to help you on this journey:
Practice Mindfulness and Meditation: Engage in mindfulness to connect with your inner self and God, fostering peace and clarity.
Spiritually:
Seek Spiritual Guidance: Look for teachings that resonate with you—through community, scripture, or personal reflection.
Gratitude Practice: Reflect on what you’re grateful for daily; this simple act shifts your focus from negativity to abundance.
Service to Others: Helping others enhances your sense of purpose and connection.
Mentally:
Set Achievable Goals: Break larger aspirations into smaller tasks to create a sense of accomplishment.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Identify and reframe negative self-talk into positive affirmations.
Continuous Learning: Engage in new activities to boost your skills and reinforce self-belief.
Limit Comparisons: Focus on your own journey rather than comparing yourself to others.
Emotionally:
Seek Support: Connect with friends, family, or a therapist who can provide encouragement and perspective.
Journaling: Write about your feelings and experiences to gain insight and release pent-up emotions.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness, especially during tough times.
Embrace Vulnerability: Open up in relationships to foster deeper connections.
Encouraging Conclusion
By nurturing your emotional and spiritual well-being and leaning on your faith, you can step into the utmost life you deserve. Trust in God’s plan for you—you’ve got this!
Motivational Ending: Today, take one small step towards building your confidence. Whether it’s writing down three things you’re grateful for or reaching out to a supportive friend, every little action counts towards big changes.
Scriptural Encouragement:
Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." This verse encourages reliance on God's wisdom rather than our own.
Hebrews 10:35-36: "Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what is promised." This verse emphasizes the importance of maintaining confidence in God’s promises.
Isaiah 41:10: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." This offers reassurance of God's presence and support.
Psalm 27:3: "Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident." This shows that confidence in God can overcome fear, regardless of circumstances.
Integrating Practices
Regular Reflection: Set aside time to reflect on your experiences, emotions, and spiritual beliefs to maintain balance.
Create Routines: Establish daily or weekly rituals that nurture your spirit, mind, and emotions—like fitness, reading, or nature walks.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, to reinforce a positive mindset.
Limit Negativity: Reduce exposure to negative influences, whether they’re people, media, or environments.
By weaving these strategies into your life, you can cultivate a more resilient and confident self, allowing you to navigate life’s challenges with greater ease.
